Another injection of Cysplatin, another week of radiation, another week of declining well being. Seems so strange to be doing this! Focus on the prize.
The last week has been relatively uneventful. I have more pain in my throat and the skin on my neck is really sore and irritated. Both of these converged on me and made me realize that I just have to make sure to take pain medication regularly or I am really in trouble.
Between pain meds, anti-nausea pills, laxative tablets, a variety of salves, ointments and oils, I feel like a walking drug store! Managing when to take each of these, when to eat and drink and when I'll be driving (makes me ill), is pretty important, or as I found out a few times - disastrous. I think I am finally getting a handle on it, after much trial and error.
Yesterday, I took a couple of flights at the training hill, but felt quite worn out afterwards. It was nice to get some activity in, but more and more, I have to be careful to not overdo it.
On Saturday, Doug, Irene and Jim ran a very successful clinic devoted to Soaring the Training Hill. For a long time, I have enjoyed the wonderful magic of finding rising air at the Hill, using it to ascend high above on many days. As Doug put it, this is perhaps our best soaring site in Santa Barbara during the summer months. I was not feeling good enough to attend, but I heard that it went really well, with just about everyone climbing up in thermals and many of them landing back on top for their very first time! Congratulations to all for such a great day!
Kestrel has been my 'nurse' for the last few weeks. She seems to sense that something is not right, and she positions herself on the pillows right next to me, giving me lots of gentle kisses and licks and looking at me with those big Chelsea eyes! She keeps me company for hours on end, now if I could just train her to refill my water bottle...
Actually, the real hero through all of this is Lee Anne. She is the best! Her care and attention makes this treatment so much more bearable. It can't be easy, watching me every day become more effected by the radiation and chemo treatments, like a slow, steady decline into more pain, nausea and overall discomfort. I wish I could just say "ENOUGH" and end this, but we have to stick it out and finish the project. The end gets closer every day, but it still seems like a long way off.
I really miss food! Even here in Dr Rosenblum's office, there's a beautiful watercolor of a white peach - the whole fruit hanging from a sprig with a few leaves, some of the flowers and a view of the fruit cut in half with the seed nestled in the luscious flesh. I would give anything to be able to taste a white peach right now! Or anything, for that matter! I never realized how many ads there were on TV until now - everything looks so tasty! Soon, I keep telling myself, I will be able to taste again. Well, maybe not so soon...
Sometimes I want to say something like 'don't take anything for granted' or 'be sure to make every day count' but I think that most of you understand how I feel. Often it takes something like this to wake you up, shake you around a little and make you realize what a miracle our lives are. Once I'm finished and healed, I'm going to take my brother, Barkley's advice and become UNSTOPPABLE!!!! My sister, Jamie and Jeff have a daughter and son - Anna and John, that are both celebrating their birthdays today! John turned 18 and Anna turns 21 - Both big birthday milestones in their lives. Jamie will turn 50 on September 1st, another biggie! My whole family has been providing terrific support through this, and I still feel the undying love and inspiration of my mother, Mitzi. There isn't a day that goes by that I can't feel her presence. She was really something.
Papa and Chris will be seeing a lot more of me after next week, as Lee Anne and I will be staying with them here in Santa Barbara during my "double dose" week, where I'll be getting radiation twice a day for the remainder of my treatment. I won't feel much like driving during that time, and they have graciously offered to let us stay with them at their wonderful beach house. I love the lullaby sound of the ocean as it soothes my senses while I fall asleep at night.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
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2 comments:
Praying for you chad!!!
It's a good thing, my friend, that you understood what it is to really live life long before all this happened to you. So you're taking a break for a bit (albeit, a pretty painful one) but you'll be back up soon, your love of flying renewed and redoubled. I'll definitely be checking into the blog now again to see what's up. Take care, Chad.
Todd Eliassen
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